I would like to give a big thanks to James for being obedient to the Lord in writing this article. I was not totally peaceful with ending "Bee My Guest" at the close of August and at the same time, James was prompted by the Lord that he needed to share this word. Rob and I are thankful to know James and his wife, Heather. James has a special calling on his life and is faithful to share with others all that the Lord has taught him. Thank you so much for coming by today! As always, please leave an encouraging comment (or in this case, even a question for James) and you will be entered into today's giveaway! James will be giving away a Dave Ramsey product...so don't miss out!
SAHM – Dream Job or Impossible
Dream? by James B. Woosley
A few weeks ago I was having fun asking questions to my 300+ friends on Facebook via my status updates, and asked people what their dream job was and if they were pursuing it. I would never have imagined the responses I got, mostly from SAHMs.
If you know what a SAHM is, you probably are one or want to be one. If you don’t, you’re probably a guy struggling to figure out the acronym! I’m talking about Stay At Home Moms.
Clarification
Now, let me first make clear that I have no problem with women in the
workforce or working moms. Many of my
best bosses, co-workers and clients have been (and still are!) women and moms.
If you are a mom and you choose to work, great. Don’t feel guilty for taking a career path along with motherhood.
But if you are a mom who’s working and dreams of being home to raise the kids, this article is for you.
Dream Job
Let’s go back to the Facebook question.
The overwhelming majority of responses I got were from my SAHM friends,
who said they had the best job in the world already. They were living their dream in being able to
stay home and raise their children.
God bless them! I used to think it would be great to do that as a dad…but now I have kids. And while I love them dearly, if I had to be a SAHD, my next job would be making license plates!
My SAHM friends have found a wonderful place to be…they love their work. And it is definitely work! I see how much my wife Heather does raising our kids and how exhausting each day can be. Again, I’ll take the corporate rat race over that job almost any day!
But there is a segment of our culture that dreams of being a SAHM. Unfortunately, too many single and married working moms feel it is an impossible dream.
Single and Married
Moms
The single moms bear the burden of providing all things for their children
as best she can. Regrettably most live at
or below the poverty level. But they
press on and manage to do a great job in spite of the challenge. My advice below may not help you quit working
altogether, but it could still make life a little better if you’re struggling
financially.
Soapbox: Christians have a biblical mandate to help
widows and orphans (James 1:27). In 21st
century America, I think we should include these single moms in our tasking...regardless
of how they got there. If you know one
(and you do!), find something you can do to help them out. One simple act of kindness will go a long,
long way.
Another segment is married working moms who want to be SAHMs. Remember, I’m not talking about the working mom who wants to work. These are moms who work solely for economic reasons. They simply cannot afford to quit their jobs…or can they?
Transitioning to SAHM
Status
Here are some practical, though challenging steps to get yourself to your
dream job of exclusively full-time mom (assuming you have the support of your
husband…if you don’t, deal with that first by talking it out or getting a good
counselor).
- Evaluate
your budget.
Is what you’re making in income equal to or less than what you’re spending on day care, clothes, food, travel, etc. for work? Is there nothing in the way of benefits from work that you can’t live without or cover through your husband’s work? If the answer is yes to both questions, then congratulations. You can quit your job and come home to be with the kiddos right now!
If the answer is no, then work through the next few steps and strive to establish your household based on one income, even while you continue to have two.
- Evaluate
your debt.
What about that car payment? Yes, throw that in too. If you’re working simply to pay a car note, you need to recheck your priorities because you may have chosen having a nice car over your kids. (Ouch. It hurts when I say it out loud, doesn’t it?)
Wouldn’t it be better to sell the car and stay home if that’s what you want? What do you want more?
-
Build a
Plan.
If financially your family simply cannot make it without your income, is it time to give up on your dream of being a SAHM? NO!
But it will take more work to get there.
a. Beans and
Rice!
Get on a bare-bones budget, aiming to live solely on your husband’s income
(remember that once the money comes home, it is household income, not his and
hers). Unless you are already
struggling, there is normally a lot more wiggle room in the family budget than
you realize.
b.
Debt
Freedom!
Eliminate all debt except for your house (no payments means freedom to live on
less). You may even need to consider
moving if your house payment is too much (more than about 25% of your take home
pay). Most people can do this in less
than 24 months if they focus.
c.
Schedule
It!
Make a timeline for when you want to quit your job and come home. Six months?
Two years? Mark it on the
calendar and involve the entire family in the process. The length merely represents the intensity it
will take to get there. And don’t forget
to do the math in the budget so that it’s a realistic target. Focused intensity and sacrifice over a
specific period of time will get results.
d.
Show Me
the Money!
Find additional income elsewhere.
Maybe there are things your husband can do to find a better paying job
(and hopefully one he loves as well!).
There are also a variety of creative work-from-home opportunities available,
just make sure that they fit the lifestyle you want as a SAHM and fit your
personality (if you like interacting with people, sales may be great, but if
you hate numbers, accounting would be a bad fit).
What you don’t want to do is simply transfer your crazy work life into your
home or you haven’t achieved your goal of being a SAHM. If you have 5, 10 or even 20 hours available
per week, find the right fit for that schedule…but don’t cheat and do more hours
than you allocate.
e.
Prepare
for a Rainy Day!
You’ll need an emergency fund of 3-6 months of expenses, should anything
happen to your husband’s job along the way.
Also, make sure you both have adequate life insurance! If you lose your spouse and he’s the lone
breadwinner, if you don’t have 10 times his income in life insurance, you’ll
likely end up as a struggling single working mother overnight. (Why 10 times? Because invested, it will replace his income
year after year, allowing you to stay home.)
It Can Be Done
It has been my pleasure to witness this transformation several times as a
result of teaching Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University course (classes are
forming all over all the time…click here for more info and sign up for my next class
starting Sept 27th at First Baptist North Mobile).
Sometimes it’s a young couple expecting their first child…sometimes it’s a struggling family with several young kids. The point is that it’s doable!
Who are You to Write
This?
Why do I have a heart for this topic?
Well, a SAHM raised me. I’m
married to one. And I honestly think
it’s best for our kids to have a mom at home, at least while they’re little. I’m just a bit old fashioned I guess.
At the end of the day, as a father and a husband, I have to ask myself what is best for my family. So I’m happy to work my tail off at a job to bring home the bacon so that my wife has the option of staying at home.
Final Thoughts…
The keys to making this happen are really the keys to accomplishing any
goal in life. You must first define what
you want and what it will take to get there, and then commit to doing
(sacrificing!) whatever it takes to make it happen (discipline!).
No one is willing to sacrifice for something they don’t believe in. No one likes discipline at the time, but no one looks back on the results and regrets having had it.
What do you believe in? What are you willing to sacrifice to get there? Can you wield discipline for a purpose?
About the Author
James Woosley is a Career and Personal Finance Coach who helps people find
financial freedom and work they love. If
you would like help mapping out and implementing a strategy to become a SAHM,
you can contact him at james@woosleycoaching.com
or 251-281-8539, or simply visit http://www.WoosleyCoaching.com.
