Happy Saturday and sorry that I'm so late! Today's Cafe Chat question is GREAT and one that touches many, many people, especialy women. The question today is:
"First of all, do you struggle with “Insecurity” issues? If no, why not? If yes, can you tell of a specific situation that happened to you that brought out your insecurities (the more details, the better). Again, if you do struggle with insecurity, what do you believe is the root cause of your insecurity?"
I will have to answer this question with a big "YES"!I don't think that I would be human, let alone a woman, if I didn't struggle with insecurity. When we talk about "insecurity", it can mean so many different things. There can be insecurity in one's self esteem, finances, marriages etc. But, the insecurity that I had in my life centered around personal safety and protection.
One of the most prevalent times where insecurity loomed in my life was as a single woman living alone. I have never liked being by myself, especially living alone. I think I slept every night with the TV on in my bedroom, and even left one on in the living room, in hopes of faking out the "Boogie Man", in case 'he" were to try and come in while I slept. Doesn't everyone know that TV scares away the "Boogie Man"? I would pray myself to sleep every night...."Lord PLEASE keep me safe and PLEASE put a hedge of protection around me tonight"....that was the prayer, every night, without fail...and I prayed it over and over and over again until I fell asleep. My insecurity with being alone was so bad that I never really slept well--ever.
It was only when I met, fell in love with and married my husband that I actually realized the magnitude of this type of insecurity that had taken over in my life. It had become a stronghold and I really didn't know it. I cannot tell you how deeply that I slept after we were married. Rob will vouch for that too...a marching band could come through and I wouldn't move! But, I certainly didn't marry my husband for the selfish reason of just having someone there. However, I can tell you that the Lord not only blessed me with the most wonderful husband on the face of the earth (for more reasons that I can list), but He REMOVED that insecurity from me after we were married. But in the "removal" came the "lesson". The funny thing was, all of those nights that I was praying those prayers and leaving those TV's on, I was totally missing the "point" that I think God was trying to make with me. I was so busy "praying the Boogie Man away" that I had forgotten to ask God just to "remove" that fear and insecurity and just trust Him to take care of me, regardless if I ever married or not. I guess the old cliche is right....I couldn't see the forrest for the trees.
I still don't like staying by myself to this day, but I can do it, and have done it once or twice since we've been married. But the difference is, I don't have to leave on TV's and lights and worry about the "Boogie Man". I can put my head on the pillow and know that I know that I know that God is my eternal security, my Heavenly Father and my greatest Protector. He has never left me or forsaken me...just as He promised. He did bring me a wonderful mate who will be with me until the Lord sees fit for us to be with Him. But in the meantime, He has placed Rob in my life to be my earthly protector...and I am SO very thankful for the security that my husband brings to my life. The Lord fashioned yet another wonderful blessing in a marriage when He foreknew how the woman would need this very important thing of security in her personal protection. I could write for hours on all of the facets that God created through this covenant, but will save that for other posts.
Thank you to Kim at To Know Him for the great question today!
Labels: Saturday's Cafe Chat
