Wow, not only is it great to be back to the blogosphere, it's even better to be back with such a great group of ladies at Marriage Monday! And, as always, I send a huge thank you to E-Mom at Chrysalis for being such a gracious hostess.
When pondering the topic for today, I had several thoughts that crossed my mind. After all, the topic was open, so it really could have been about anything under the sun. However, my mind couldn't help but wander back to today's lesson in ABF (Adult Bible Fellowship, aka "Sunday School"). We've been on the topic of "communication" for the last few weeks, which could not be a more vital topic for any marriage, especially in today's society. Today's lesson was specifically about our words and how we use them. Honestly, it's something that I need to make a focus in my marriage at all times. I love my husband beyond measure....I want my words to be encouragement to him...uplifting....blessings to him. Granted, neither of us have ever been without allowing our tongues to get us in trouble but that's when we are reminded of this scripture:
Proverbs 15:4 (New International Version, ©2011)
4 The soothing tongue is a tree of life,
but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.
No one wants to be crushed....no one. But, EVERYONE wants to be soothed. We both know that our words are what we want to be under the control of the Holy Spirit. Aside from our relationships with the Lord and with each other, what can make a marriage a beautiful thing? Harmony....kind words....soothing words....tongues under the control of the Holy Spirit. Who doesn't want that?
Proverbs 15:1 (New International Version, ©2011)
1 A gentle answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Just like the scripture says, the more gentle we are, the more likely we are going to receive a right response. Neither of us like discord or strife. When we speak gently to each other, it's an automatic "win-win" situation. But further than that, and most importantly, it's pleasing to the Lord.
I love the vivid word pictures that the scriptures give us, especially this verse that describes our gracious words to each other:
Proverbs 16:24 (New International Version, ©2011)
24 Gracious words are a honeycomb,
sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
What I really love about this particular verse is that even aside from the wonderful picture of our words as a honeycomb, it goes a step further. The graciousness of our words even has healing properties to our bodies. I believe this is severely (perversely) lacking in today's society. How many stressed out married couples (or anyone) do you know of that are healthy? Stress brings sickness and deterioration to our bodies and to everything around us. How wonderfully incredible is God's design that He would bring health to us with something so easy as being gracious to each other with our words? That is the tender LOVE of the FATHER. He cares for His creation...and each one of us are His creation and each one of us are likewise created in His image.
Our words in our marriage are so important . They have the power to build up, but they have the power to tear down even faster. I appreciate my husband and his constant effort to speak kind words to me, to build me up, to encourage me...his obedience to the Lord in this area is more than apparent, and I'm so blessed. I heard a quote Sunday that I'll leave you with. When I heard it, I thought of Rob and his constant efforts. I also took an introspective look to see if I'm really living up to this standard. I think that if we call come to this place in our marriage, we have accomplished something great and God honoring. The quote is from author and speaker, Dr. Henry Brandt and it simply states:
"Communication means to overcome the desire to conceal feelings and thoughts and rise to the level of honesty."
Dr. Brandt is so right. The beauty of our marriages is that we don't have to conceal our feelings and thoughts with our spouse. We can be totally honest with them...we should be totally honest with them. There is a freedom in our commitment to our mate because we can (and should be) totally transparent with them. God's design of the covenant marriage and all of the freedom and beauty in these intricacies of the covenant are flawless. They were a total act of love from the Father when He saw fit to create them. As we heard this past Sunday, "When you risk, you can lose. And when the risk involves the impairment of a vital relationship, the loss can be devastating." I praise God for a husband who cherishes our vital relationship and I pray that the Lord would keep me ever mindful of the fact that nothing but death will ever separate us. Thank you Lord....Your blessings are tremendous!
