A Pair of Bartletts

The Waiting Game--A Marriage Monday Article

Wow....I think I had to sweep 4 inches of dust off of my Typepad account just to write this post!  I know that it's been a while, but i'm SLOWLY getting back into the blog.  There has been SO much going on and I've been busier than any bee could imagine being, but nonetheless, I'm writing again.  And I can think of no better blog post to write than one for my precious friend and sweet, sweet sister in the lord, "E-Mom" over at Chrysalis.  If you have never paid E-Mom a visit, then you must.  Her wisdom and insight, and especially her friendship, are priceless to me.  She is not only a hero in the faith but a hero in her testimony of Christian marriage.  She is a Proverbs 31 woman....have no doubt about that.

Today's topic was one that I could deeply identify with.  When I got the blast reminder from E-Mom the other day, I think I almost fell off my seat when I read the topic.  Where do I even begin?  I just hope if you are reading this that you have poured yourself about a gallon of coffee and have a while to sit and read.  I'll try and condense, but I can't make you any promises!

They have lived in it and have built in it a sanctuary for your Name, saying, ‘If calamity comes upon us, whether the sword of judgment, or plague or famine, we will stand in your presence before this temple that bears your Name and will cry out to you in our distress, and you will hear us and save us.’      II Chronicles 20:8-9

E-mom encouraged us in writing about moving past the pain of infertility.  Well...I can definitely give you some insight into this topic, because Rob and I have walked through this valley for the last 5 years.   I have known many who have faced the same...some who have been able to receive a deliverance and some who have not.  My post today is not to discuss great theological reasons why each individual goes through certain trials and tribulations.  My post is only to give you insight on where we have walked.  I can only pray that the Lord would use our situation to help someone else who may need encouragement while in the valley.

Dear Lord...not my words, but Yours.  Amen. 

Rob and I have been married for five years next month and I thank God every day for our marriage. It has definitely not been a textbook five years, if there is such a thing.  We married and then began a roller coaster ride through the trial of osteo arthritis (a direct result of Rob's struggle from childhood with juvenile rheumatoid arthritis), which lead to Rob having to have not one but two major surgeries to replace both of his hips.  All of this and he was barely over 40. All of this and I was barely over 35.  It was not what I had prayed for all of my life, but God will never give us more than we can handle....I can honestly tell you that.  You may not have gotten that answer from me at the time, but I can tell you that now.  God's promises are true my friend.  God's promises are true (Jeremiah 29:11-14).  

In the midst of the surgeries, we had still had no success with getting pregnant.  Surgeries came and went....therapy and recuperation came and went, still, no pregnancy.  I'm not sure if you've ever seen the movie "Back To The Future", but the opening scene is filled with clocks....all ticking very loudly, and all ticking at one time.  Well, my friend, that's pretty much what has been resounding in my ears as I painfully got up each day over these days, months, weeks and years....listening to the deafening "tick-tock" of my biological clock piercing my ears.  

"For we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.” II Chronicles 20:12

Flash forward to the last 365 days.  Rob and I (in addition to his healing after hip surgeries) have both managed to lose a drastic amount of weight.  We had both become more unhealthy as we struggled through his hip surgeries and as I struggled  with severe endometriosis and polycystic ovarian syndrome, which had both plagued me for many years, also attributing to infertility.  (I encourage you to stop here and read the transcript {or listen to the podcast} of a sermon by Stephen Davie, Senior Pastor of Colonial Baptist Church, Carey, NC entitled Mrs. Job--A Lesson On Second Hand Suffering.  I had become a "second hand sufferer", which lead to further sickness in my own body.) At any rate, (the very long story, short) we have been freed of all of those medications (blood pressure, cholesterol, diabetic meds, etc.) and are both the picture of health.  The weight loss has been tremendous for us in more ways to count.  And I'm happy to report, as of 3 weeks ago, my OBGYN advised that she believes I should {prayerfully} be pregnant within the next six months.  I'll be 39 in December and would love to be pregnant before I'm 40.  This was AMAZING news to me and a sheer answer to many prayers.  It was such a total turn around from what had always felt like despair at my many prior appointments with her over the years.  

God is a good God.  He wants us to pray His promises back to Him...which I do on a daily basis.  I have no problem reminding God that I KNOW that if I delight myself in HIM that HE will give me the desires of my heart (Psalm 37:4).  I know the plans that He has for me and that they are to prosper me and not to harm me...they are to bring me a future and a hope and if I will call on Him and pray to Him, He will listen and He will answer me (Jeremiah 29:11-14).  I KNOW THAT I KNOW THAT I KNOW that I need to be anxious for NOTHING but in ALL THINGS, by prayer and supplication, WITH THANKSGIVING, I can make my requests known to God and HIS PEACE, which surpasses all of my {pitiful} understanding will guard my heart AND my mind through Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:6-7).  I recite these (and other) verses back to Him every day.  These words are all embossed on my heart.  And they are true.  And God wrote them.  And God meant them.  And He will not go back on them.  

Please don't misunderstand....God didn't tell me "how" He was going to give us the desires of our hearts.  He didn't say that the fulfilment of motherhood for me would automatically be through me becoming pregnant.  He very well may choose to bring us a child through an adoption...or He may do both....He may decide for me to be pregnant and also send a child to us through adoption.  We don't know....if we did, then what need would we have had for God and His soveriegnty?  All we can do is trust in the Lord with all our hearts and lean not on our own understanding and in all our ways acknowledge Him and He will direct our paths (Proverbs 3:5-6).

I can't tell you that we are there yet.  But I can tell you that we serve a living and RISEN Lord who if faithful, who is just and who will never leave me or Rob....he will never forsake us, and on that promise, we stand.  Take heart sister....don't believe the lies of the Enemy.  I'm not telling you that I've never fallen victim to them myself, but I have CHOSEN to run the other way.  I have chosen to run into the arms of my Jesus, who will protect me with His wings.  He is the shielder of my heart....of Rob's heart.  I have not always been at this place, but I'm thankful for the long, excrutiating road that got me to this place.  God never promised that It would be easy....He just promised...He just promised.  My God will supply all my needs according to His riches in glory (Philippians 4:19).  That's all I need to know.  Trust HIM with your whole heart and He will make a way when there seems to be no way.

 

Be Blessed in the Lord,

Marriage Monday--He Holds Us Together

 

Is it Monday already? Wow....it was here before I could turn around! As always, I would like to thank our gracious hostess, E-Mom from Chrysalis for inviting us to "her house" today for another installment of Marriage Monday. If you haven't already been by, you can find her at http://www.chrysaliscafe.com (please forgive the typed out link...I was determined to use the Typepad app on my new iPad tonight...and....well, there is not a way to create hyperlinks, that I have found anyway!)

The topic that E-Mom has so carefully chosen for us is the subject of faith in our marriage. Let me just tell you now.....I LOVE THIS TOPIC! I was so glad to see it, just because that is the one thing that I believe our marriage cannot and would not survive without. In a world where faith in the Lord Jesus Christ seems to be in the minority, I believe that Rob and I would experience sudden death in our marriage without Jesus as the third strand in the cord that IS our marriage.

I have actually tried before to sit very still, close my eyes and try to imagine what our lives would be like without Jesus, our faith or even just each other. My friend....I CAN'T DO IT! It's that same panicked feeling that you get when you awaken from a hideous bad dream and sit straight up in bed. I can't stand it. I can't do it.....it hurts my heart to try. But, on the flip side, it's that hideous feeling in the attempt that is what makes me snap back to reality and know that I cannot live one breath on this earth without Jesus and that my marriage would suffocate without Him.

Our faith in Him is most definitely the common thread...the life blood of our marriage. It is also what draws us together as a couple. We love to pray together....especially lying in bed at night, just before going to sleep. There is just something about those prayers with the Lord....lying in the pitch black dark holding hands. For me, it's the closest thing to having the Lord almost incarnate....right there with us. And our faith doesn't just show up in those prayers, but just in our regular every day conversations. A lot of the time that we spend together talking is about our faith....what we believe in....what we hold the closest to our hearts. It's what we thrive on.

I thank God every day for my husband and for salvation in both of our lives. I thank Him for bringing us together and for helping us to build a household of faith so that we can serve Him in a covenant marriage for the rest of our days on this earth. Thank you Lord....and to GOD be the glory, for GREAT THINGS HE HAS DONE!!!

Blessings,

 

 

Marriage Monday--The Beauty In Choosing Our Words

Wow, not only is it great to be back to the blogosphere, it's even better to be back with such a great group of ladies at Marriage Monday!  And, as always, I send a huge thank you to E-Mom at Chrysalis for being such a gracious hostess.  

When pondering the topic for today, I had several thoughts that crossed my mind.  After all, the topic was open, so it really could have been about anything under the sun.  However, my mind couldn't help but wander back to today's lesson in ABF (Adult Bible Fellowship, aka "Sunday School").  We've been on the topic of "communication" for the last few weeks, which could not be a more vital topic for any marriage, especially in today's society.  Today's lesson was specifically about our words and how we use them.  Honestly, it's something that I need to make a focus in my marriage at all times.  I love my husband beyond measure....I want my words to be encouragement to him...uplifting....blessings to him.  Granted, neither of us have ever been without allowing our tongues to get us in trouble but that's when we are reminded of this scripture:  

Proverbs 15:4 (New International Version, ©2011) 

 ⁴ The soothing tongue is a tree of life, 
   but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.

No one wants to be crushed....no one.  But, EVERYONE wants to be soothed.  We both know that our words are what we want to be under the control of the Holy Spirit.  Aside from our relationships with the Lord and with each other, what can make a marriage a beautiful thing?  Harmony....kind words....soothing words....tongues under the control of the Holy Spirit.  Who doesn't want that?  

Proverbs 15:1 (New International Version, ©2011) 

 ¹ A gentle answer turns away wrath, 
   but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Just like the scripture says, the more gentle we are, the more likely we are going to receive a right response.  Neither of us like discord or strife.  When we speak gently to each other, it's an automatic "win-win" situation.  But further than that, and most importantly, it's pleasing to the Lord.   

I love the vivid word pictures that the scriptures give us, especially this verse that describes our gracious words to each other:

Proverbs 16:24 (New International Version, ©2011) 

 ²⁴ Gracious words are a honeycomb, 
   sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

What I really love about this particular verse is that even aside from the wonderful picture of our words as a honeycomb, it goes a step further.  The graciousness of our words even has healing properties to our bodies.  I believe this is severely (perversely) lacking in today's society.  How many stressed out married couples (or anyone) do you know of that are healthy?  Stress brings sickness and deterioration to our bodies and to everything around us.  How wonderfully incredible is God's design that He would bring health to us with something so easy as being gracious to each other with our words?  That is the tender LOVE of the FATHER.  He cares for His creation...and each one of us are His creation and each one of us are likewise created in His image.  

Our words in our marriage are so important .  They have the power to build up, but they have the power to tear down even faster.  I appreciate my husband and his constant effort to speak kind words to me, to build me up, to encourage me...his obedience to the Lord in this area is more than apparent, and I'm so blessed.  I heard a quote Sunday that I'll leave you with.  When I heard it, I thought of Rob and his constant efforts.  I also took an introspective look to see if I'm really living up to this standard.  I think that if we call come to this place in our marriage, we have accomplished something great and God honoring.  The quote is from author and speaker, Dr. Henry Brandt and it simply states:

"Communication means to overcome the desire to conceal feelings and thoughts and rise to the level of honesty."

Dr. Brandt is so right.  The beauty of our marriages is that we don't have to conceal our feelings and thoughts with our spouse.  We can be totally honest with them...we should be totally honest with them.  There is a freedom in our commitment to our mate because we can (and should be) totally transparent with them.  God's design of the covenant marriage and all of the freedom and beauty in these intricacies of the covenant are flawless.  They were a total act of love from the Father when He saw fit to create them.  As we heard this past Sunday, "When you risk, you can lose.  And when the risk involves the impairment of a vital relationship, the loss can be devastating."  I praise God for a husband who cherishes our vital relationship and I pray that the Lord would keep me ever mindful of the fact that nothing but death will ever separate us.  Thank you Lord....Your blessings are tremendous!

 

 

 

 

 

Marriage Monday--A Cord Of Three Strands Is Not Quickly Broken

Ephesians 5:22-33

²²Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. ²³For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. ²⁴Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

 ²⁵Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁶to make her holy, cleansing^[b] her by the washing with water through the word, ²⁷and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. ²⁸In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— ³⁰for we are members of his body. ³¹"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."^[c] 32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.³³However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

I would like to start this post by thanking the Lord for my precious husband, Rob.  God blessed me beyond measure when he brought Rob into my life.  If I have said it once, I've said it a thousand times....aside from my Bible, Rob is my greatest earthly treasure given to me by the Lord.  

As I tossed around which of the topics to choose from for the post, it became quite evident to me which one that I should write about.  For me, it was the obvious choice...."A cord of three strands is not quickly broken".  I love this.  I love the picture of the Trinity, but especially in the biblical picture of marriage.  Most think that the husband and the wife are what completes the picture of marriage, but on the contrary.  The picture of the Christian marriage is not complete without the third strand in the cord...the Holy Spirit.  Without Him, the two of us would be nothing.  We would not make it trying to serve each other if we were not serving Him first.  There is no way that Rob could love me, nor could I be submissive to Rob's leadership in our home if we did not have Jesus in our hearts.  The scripture is very clear in the definition of our roles in this marriage and it's a definition that we fully intend to follow.  

The chosen path of love and submission is certainly not one that doesn't involve hard work.  We BOTH have to work at it.  But more importantly, it should be approached with the greatest of care.  And the greatest way to care for our marriages is to bathe them in prayer.  I'm not saying that you have to hunch in a dark closet for hours on end in order to be prayerful about your marriage (or anything for that matter).  Daily prayer in my quiet times and what I consider a constant prayerful heart (always having prayer on my mind during day to day tasks) are what work the best for me.  

Recently, I learned of a book that my sister Julie was reading.  Just after reading a few pages, I saw what an incredible tool that this book would be in addition to my own prayers.  It was a fantastic guide (and very inexpensive, I might add)  to praying scriptures over our husbands.  The book is called "Prayers of an Excellent Wife", by Andrew Case.  I highly recommend this book...and quite frankly, I have told dozens of people about it since then.  There is also a companion book by the same author for husbands called "Water of the Word: Intercession For Her".  Rob has a copy of it as well.  Case has taken the actual written scriptures and melded them into a specific prayer.  Dear Sisters....the GLUE that binds the three cords together (in my humble opinion) is prayer, prayer and more prayer.  Petitioning the Father over our marriages  could not be any more important.  Every need...every thought....every EVERYTHING that is going on in your marriage, from the smallest, most seemingly insignificant thing, to the BIGGEST of the big things in your marriage....they are all worthy of bringing before the Father.  Scripture is very clear on this in Paul's letter to the Philippians (Philippians 4) when he says:

⁴Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! ⁵Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. ⁶Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.   ⁸Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. ⁹Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

Dear Sisters, I pray that the third strand in the cord of your marriage is Jesus Christ.  I pray that your marriage will be blessed, that it is complete and that you are the apple of your husband's eye.  I thank my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ before everyone reading this post for my husband...from the top of his head to the soles of his feet.  May the strands of the cord of all of our marriages be woven together as tightly as the Lord will hold them.  

I thought I would leave you with one of the prayers from the book that I mentioned to you.   I wanted you to see the format so that you might consider getting a copy of it for yourself.  As a matter of fact, the author has even offered a FREE .pdf copy of this book to you by visiting His Magnificence (how much better can you get...it's FREE!).  The author has also granted permission for any part of the text to be shared or reproduced, so long as you don't charge for it or alter it in any way.  So, with that said dear sisters....please share it with your friends!  It has blessed me beyond belief and I know it will bless you as well.

The prayer below is very special to me and I have read it over and over....and it is especially meaningful to me in light of the topic in this post.  I pray it will bless you as well.  

May God richly bless you!

 

*****For more great Marriage Monday articles and otherwise just really good blog content, please visit my DEAREST friend and marriage mentor, E-Mom at Chrysalis Cafe.  You will be blessed!  Much love to you E-Mom....you and E-Dad ROCK!

Guess What Tomorrow Is?

I hope to see you back here tomorrow!  It's going to be a great Marriage Monday!

The topic here at A Pair of Bartletts will be:

Blessings to you!

Marriage Monday--The Honeymooners

Song of Solomon 2 (New King James Version)

Song of Solomon 2

I am the rose of Sharon, 
      And the lily of the valleys.

THE Beloved

    ² Like a lily among thorns, 
      So is my love among the daughters.

THE Shulamite

    ³ Like an apple tree among the trees of the woods, 
      So is my beloved among the sons. 
      I sat down in his shade with great delight, 
      And his fruit was sweet to my taste.

THE Shulamite to the Daughters of Jerusalem

    ⁴ He brought me to the banqueting house, 
      And his banner over me was love. 
       ⁵ Sustain me with cakes of raisins, 
      Refresh me with apples, 
      For I am lovesick. 
       ⁶ His left hand is under my head, 
      And his right hand embraces me. 
       ⁷ I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, 
      By the gazelles or by the does of the field, 
      Do not stir up nor awaken love 
      Until it pleases.

I prayed for my husband before I knew his name.  I prayed that he would be like the King in Song of Solomon...how could he be any less if he were sent by the Lord?  My husband and I were from very different backgrounds, but yet it's come to be a game to see how many ways our lives had been intertwined over the years and we didn't even know it!  Before I write anymore, I'll have to tell you a true story.  One afternoon, Rob and I were in the car and were driving past the Senior Citizen apartments in our town, where my beloved grandmother "Nanny" had lived for many years.  As a matter of fact, not only did she live there, but I spent almost any and every weekend with her there as well....as much as I could.  As I was pointing out what balcony had belonged to her, I began to tell Rob of a story from a weekend that I had stayed with Nanny.  I remember it like it was yesterday.  It was a Saturday night and she and I were watching TV.  All of a sudden, we heard this really loud and obnoxious sound out on the lawn.  We jumped up and ran to the balcony, only to see this old car doing donuts in the beautiful grass there at the Towers.  My Nanny was horrified...."those teenagers....just look at them out there messing up the grass"!   

Flash forward, back to Rob and I driving in the car.  As I'm telling him how upset my Nanny was and then on top of that, how upset my Dad was to find out about it when I got home, the color is slowly draining out of his face....he looked at me and said "was it an old Nova by chance?"  IT WAS HIM (and his cousin) doing donuts in the grass!  You will all be happy to know that he has repented and seen the error of his ways--and would have the hide of any kid doing that today ;o)

But, I digress.....back to the topic at hand.  God is good....and He had a plan for both of us.  He could not have brought me anyone that I could have loved more than the man that I married.   Due to the time of year that we got married and the things that were going on in my family at that time (birth of a niece, parents moving, Thanksgiving, etc.), we chose to go on a honeymoon that was a couple of months after our wedding.  And it was SO fabulous.  I couldn't believe that I had been blessed in the way that the Lord blessed me!!  God's promises are true and God is trustworthy to fulfill them (Psalm 37:4).

 

 

Rob is my soul mate, my best friend, my champion, the one who has been entrusted to hold onto my heart, which he does so sweetly and so carefully.  I sometimes feel that the word "honeymoon" for me has too much finality to it.   I like to think that we're newlyweds all the time and that the honeymoon is never over.  With that being said, I also live in reality.  We are both imperfect people and we do not (nor does anyone) have a perfect marriage.  What we do have is the Lord.  We are both the bride of Christ and Christ is our bridegroom.  Without Christ in our lives and in our marriage, we would have been doomed from day one.  I can't imagine a day in our lives right now without the Lord who loves us so dearly and who died on a cross to save us. 

Ephesians 5 

²² Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. ²⁴ Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. 
²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, ²⁶ that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, ²⁷ that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. ²⁸ So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. ³⁰ For we are members of His body,^[d] of His flesh and of His bones. ³¹ “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”^[e] 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. ³³ Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Since our honeymoon, we have taken many trips, each of which have been an adventure, in and of themselves.  We love each other and we both love to travel....and what better thing to do than to love each other and travel together?!  I look forward to many more wonderful trips with my precious husband.  I also look forward to all that God has in store for us and am thankful for all that He has done for us.  I could never have asked for more!

I have had this song in my playlist for a while, but moved it up to the number one slot, especially for this post.  This song characterizes everything about our marriage, inside and out.  I hope it will be a blessing to you as well!

When God Made You

Its always been a mystery to me, 
How two hearts can come together, 
And love can last forever. 
But now that I have found you I believe, 
That a miracle has come when God sends the perfect one. 
So gone are all my questions about why, 
And i've never been so sure of anything in my life

~chorus~

Oh I wonder what God was thinking,when he created you.
I wonder if He knew everything I would need, 
Because he made all my dreams come true. 
When God made you, He must have been thinking about me.

Ooo ooo,I promise that wherever you may go, wherever life may lead you, 
With all my heart I'll be there too. 
And from this moment on I want you to know, 
I'll let nothing come between us, and I will love the ones you love. 
(guy):So gone are all my questions about why (girl echoes):about why

Oh I wonder what God was thinking when he created you, 
I wonder if He knew everythin I would need, 
Because He made all my dreams come true. 
When God made you He must've been thinking about me.

Bridge

He made the sun He made the moon, 
To harmonize a perfect tune, 
One can't do without the other they just have to be together. 
And that is how I know its true, 
Your for me and i'm for you and my world 
Just cant be right without you in my life

Chorus

(guy) He must have heard every prayer I've been praying (girl echo) 
I've been praying (both)He must've knew everything I would need

When God made you, He must've been thinking about me.

For more great Marriage Monday posts, please visit E-Mom's blog at  CHRYSALIS  you will be blessed!

 

Marriage Monday--A Week In Our Lives

 

 

First of all, thank you so much for reading along (or contributing, if you are a MM contributor) with Marriage Monday and a HUGE thank you to our precious friend, E-Mom C H R Y S A L I S  for being our most gracious hostess!   

Well, this month is a little different regarding our topic.  Actually, there is no designated topic this month...we're keeping it simple in order that everyone is able to spend the weekend (and days leading up to it) in preparation for Resurrection Sunday.  In light of that, it's pretty simple for me what to write about...just that...the days leading up to Resurrection Sunday.  

I penned some words in the last few days regarding the "goings on" in my family, specifically with my husband and my sister-in-love (I love that sound much better than "in law"...thanks to my sweet bloggy sister, Trish at A Joyful Heart.  She has a "mother-in-love"!).  If you haven't read my post titled "Breaking the Silence & Some Other Urgent Prayer Needs", you might want to read that first so that the rest of this post will make better sense.  At any rate, I have been doing so much reflection in the last few days with regard to Rob's hip surgery on Friday before last and with my sister-in-love's colon cancer diagnosis the day before his surgery.  

Needless to say, there has been an incredibly HUGE range of emotions that has manifested in my life (and the lives of others) since last week.  Rob's surgery had been scheduled for a good bit of time, but in the scheduling, never would we dream that our sweet Julie would receive the news that she did Thursday before last.  Rob and I had prayed for many weeks leading up to his surgery.  We prayed that it would be just like his right hip replacement in May of '08....an absolute breeze.  We prayed that recovery would be quick and that no one would be inconvenienced any more than necessary.

WOW...were our prayers ever so shallow.  It's amazing to me still how we didn't know that the whole time that we were praying, this nasty thing called "cancer" was growing inside our sweet Julie's body.  My first reaction in my heart was "Lord, if only I had known, I could have prayed more, I could have prepared, I could have been on guard and ready to receive this news".  

Funny, why do we wait until  we're in the midst of a crisis to have the gall, the absolute nerve, to ask the Lord...the King of Kings, the one who died on a miserable cross to save our sins....to have given us more of a "warning" prior to receiving bad news?  

What I do know is that in James 5:16, the Lord has already given us everything we need to know about where our prayer life should be:

"Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much."

It wasn't that I had not prayed before receiving this news.  But I'll tell you, the best litmus test to tell you how "fervent" that you are is to have news like what our family received to hit you from left field.  I love talking to the Lord.  I love praying.  Up until Thursday, March 25, 2010, I considered my prayer life to be "pretty good" by my standards.  That's the problem....my standard is not the Lord's standard.  I want to have my prayers be a part of the "avails much" part of the text above.  I want to be so deeply into my prayer and communion with the Lord that my response turns from "Why Lord...Oh, woe is me Lord" to "What next Lord? Show me Your will Lord!".  

Rob's Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis attacks and diagnosis didn't catch our great God by surprise in 1979.  Nor was He astonished that our sweet Julie would come to face the trial of cancer.  But He did promise in Philippians 4:13 that:

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

Our God is great and our God is good.  He never sleeps or slumbers.  He IS going to see my sweet husband through recovery and healing in his hips.  He IS going to see our sweet Julie through treatment and surgery for colon cancer.  He IS the same yesterday, today and forever.  

I heard some of the sweetest words the other day that I think I've ever heard in my marriage.  "Jen, I want to pray more than I ever have....and there is nothing in the world that I wouldn't do for this family". Thank you Lord for a praying husband.   Thank you Lord for giving Rob and I the same prompting by the Holy Spirit.  Thank you Lord for showing us the areas of our prayer life that need to be strengthened like a mighty fort against any attack of the Enemy or any bad news that may come to our family.  

Forever in His service,

 

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Marriage Monday--Prayer in Marriage

 

I'll have to say that when I read what the topic was going to be for today's Marriage Monday, I developed a very quick case of "writer's block".  Why is it so incredibly hard to write about praying with your husband?  Block or no block, it's actually a topic that my husband and I have been discussing lately, even before the topic was decided.  We both agreed that want to step outside the bounds of our own prayer life and pray more together.  As a matter of fact, my husband is the one who brought it up.  That may not seem to be such an extraordinary thing by someone in the "world", but to me it's HUGE!  It's biblical, and here's why:

Ephesians 5:23 

"For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is head of the church, his body, of which, He is the Savior." (NIV)

"For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body." (NKJV)

"Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ.  The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to His church, not by domineering but by cherishing.  So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands." (The Message) (v 22-24)

I love that my husband is the leader of our home.  I love that he loves me like Christ loves the church and that as a result, he has the desire to want to pray with me.  Now with that said, we are not perfect, nor do we live in a perfect world.  It would be unrealistic to think that we would pray together over every single solitary thing and at just the right time, each time.  But what I do know is that God put the desire in both of us to serve Him.  Further, He put the desire in my husband to love me as Christ loved the church and He put the desire in both of us to want to spend time together in prayer and devotion.  The expectations here do not need to become so unrealistic that we set ourselves up to fail.  However, we need to be realistic, pray together when we are led to and over whatever the Lord puts on our hearts,and when we are able to.  When we are not praying together, then we can always do what we are instructed to do for each other as it's written in Galatians 6:2 "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ".  

 

 

In addition to The Lord giving us the incredible ability to commune with Him intimately through prayer in our own prayer closets, He has promised us in Matthew 18:20 that "For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them." What an incredible promise, and probably one of the ones that I love more than anything.  I want to be where my Lord is.  I want to be where my husband is also.  What better place than to be with them together!

I pray that those reading this would also know an intimate relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ as their Savior.  If you are not sure if you have a relationship with Jesus as your Savior and would like to know more about the free gift of salvation, you can read more about that here.  

And, if you would like to read other great Marriage Monday articles, you can find more on my dear friend "E-Mom's" website at C H R Y S A L I S.  

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Marriage Monday--How to Celebrate February 14 Every Day of the Year

I'm so excited that we are back in the groove of "Marriage Monday"!  We took a little break for January, but now, we're all back and I hope the rest of our ladies are excited as I am about the inaugural 2010 Marriage Monday post.  As always, a big thanks to E-Mom at C H R Y S A L I S for being our gracious hostess for our humble little meme.  E-Mom is a friend, an encourager, a wife, a mother and most importantly a woman of the Lord, saved by grace through faith in Jesus Christ. Thank you E-Mom!

So, on with this month's question! 

How do you celebrate February 14th every day of the year? 

Well, I'm not going to waste any time here.  Obviously, I am married to another sinner, just like I am a sinner.  BUT THE BEAUTY OF THE TWO OF US SINNERS being married to each other is that we are not just going to enjoy our earthly lives together here on this deteriorating earth, but WE ARE GOING TO SPEND ETERNITY WITH JESUS!   It is not of ourselves that we are saved but only through faith in Jesus Christ ("For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the GIFT of God" Ephesians 2:8).

So how do Rob and I, imperfections and all, manage to (relatively) have Valentines every day of the year?  Well, honestly, it's not Valentines every day of the year for us, just because for us, that's a high goal to have.  I would like to think that in the next 20 years that we would "arrive" at having met this goal, but for now, we have managed to be as "Valentine-sey" throughout each week as we can. 

Here are a few things that may not mean "diddley-squat" to the next couple, but for us, they are the things that keep our hearts knitted tightly together:

• Driving on a Saturday morning, having some breakfast at Cracker Barrel and then going to Barnes and Noble to have coffee while we pour over books that we love.  And in case you need to know, that's a triple venti latte, no fat, no foam for Rob and for me, that's a venti soy caramel latte with whip!

• Eating supper together every night, talking about our day, solving a few of the world's problems and maybe painting some pictures in our minds of some of the things that we would like to accomplish in our lives as individuals, but also as a married couple.

• Laughing so hard until we almost cry---doesn't matter what it is, this can happen over a wide variety of subject matter.

• Enjoying sweet times with our family or friends....those times when the world just melts away while we carry on a championship Scrabble game.

• Celebrating and praying over the lives of our precious nieces and nephews, thanking God for the love in our hearts for these children

• Going to a quaint neighborhood fine dining restaurant a few blocks from our home to be greeted by the chef himself and to enjoy one of his fabulous creations while surrounded by the coziest and most quiet ambiance.  It's so relaxing and unwinding!  Thanks Chuck....you're the best!

• Listening to the "rain and the gentle storm" coming from the iPod docking station as we go to sleep each night.  

• Letting our feet "snuggle" together on cold nights....which leads to much better snuggling, if you ask me!  Did it suddenly get hot in here or is it just me?

• Telling a great story about some of our late relatives...keeping their memories alive...lots of remeniscing.

• Getting away at a condo at the Gulf every now and then on a weekend.  It's nice to leave the rat race behind and go to the beach.  I love the winter and early spring retreats to the beach....especially before it gets too hot.  It's so fabulous to sleep with the bedroom balcony doors open and listen to the crashing surf outside.

• Going to the library and spending quiet time with each other.  It's so funny...we can be as quiet as a church mouse, but we still sit there and "chat" through our thoughts....it's like we know what each other is thinking sometimes, just without talking.  All of that mind reading sometimes results in laughter....at which time we have to leave the library!

• Saying "I love you" before the end of every phone call or anytime we are going to be apart, without fail.

• Being each other's "one and only".....we are married for life.

I hope that you will take some of our words in "bold" and try them in your marriage.  These things have worked for us so far.  We both thank God ever day for the incredible blessing that He gave us when he knitted the fibers of our hearts together so closely....so tightly.  

What says "Valentines" to you dear friend?

xoxoxox,

 

 

Marriage Monday is Coming.....And Love Is In The Air!!!!

It's that time again ladies!  Marriage Monday will be here in a couple of short days!  I pray that you will join our group, either as a contributor or even as a reader.  The more the merrier!  We love the diversity of the articles and would love to have as many contributors as we can get.  

Here is the post from our lovely hostesses (E-Mom's) website, C H R Y S A L I S.  I pray that you can make it!  If you have any questions before then, please do not hesitate to contact me here or you can contact E-Mom over at her site as well.

Big Blessings!

 

Dear Sister,

 

Seeking Your Submission

Please join us for Marriage Monday on Feb. 1, 2010. By majority vote this month's topic is, "How to Celebrate February 14 Every Day of the Year."

Valentine’s day can be a wonderful way to rev up our love and really “pop the cork.” But most of us know that a satisfying day-to-day relationship needs more of our creative energy than a once-a-year budget-busting bonanza does.

The “Us” Factor
This month, your challenge is to share how you and your husband make each and every day of your marriage special.What are your daily relationship rituals? How do you nurture the “us” factor? Tell us the big or little things that make your marriage sing like a fine-tuned violin. A few examples:

• Casual chats
• Kissing
• Private jokes
• Rehearsed phrases
• Body language
• Shared activities
• Favorite foods
• Division of chores
• Intimacy signals

You get my drift. (You certainly don’t need to cover every area listed. Just use them to prime the pump.) By sharing your ideas, you’ll motivate the precious women in our Marriage Monday community make a few improvements.

I’m sure you agree that it’s much better for our marriages to heading toward the bedroom, and not boredom on a day-to-day basis!

 

Who needs February 14 when every day is Valentine’s Day?

Please Bring a Friend

Feel free to copy any part of this invitation and post it on your blog. As always, the more participants we have, the better.

 

See you this coming Monday!

 

Blessings,

 

e-Mom @ Chrysalis

http://chrysaliscom.blogspot.com

 

Marriage Monday--He Speaks: A Revealing Interview With My Husband

Well, it's finally here!  Marriage Monday is back, but most importantly, it's officially (to me) the Christmas season!  I know that there are lots of folks out there that just can't get "into it" until it gets much closer to the date, but NOT ME!  This is hands down my favorite time of the year...and I've been "into it" since before Thanksgiving!  

And, when E-Mom recently let us in on the topic for Marriage Monday, I was even more excited.  While I always like for Rob to read my posts for Marriage Monday, that's just it...they're posts that I write.  But this month, he's actually able to participate in the writing.  Our topic this time  is not really a topic this time, but an interview with my precious husband.  It's so funny...an "interview".  It sounds so "TV-ish"!  I live in the same house with this great guy and know him inside and out.  But to "interview" him, well, it was just intriguing to me.  So, I'll guess I'll get right to the good stuff!  Here are the five questions (and his answers) that I posed to my greatest earthly gift....my sweet husband.

  

QUESTION #1:

Describe your ideal Christmas.  

Rob:  To one day see the excitement of our own children waking up on Christmas morning.

Okay, I'll have to say that his first answer made me tear up pretty quickly immediately.  I would elaborate more here, but if I do, I'll never type the rest of the post.  Just suffice it to say that we believe in a mighty God, who does great things, and loves to bless His children.  He's made many promises to us in the scripture, so we stand on Psalm 37, which says:

¹ Do not fret because of evildoers,
         Nor be envious of the workers of iniquity.
 ² For they shall soon be cut down like the grass,
         And wither as the green herb. 
         
 ³ Trust in the LORD, and do good;
         Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.
 ⁴ Delight yourself also in the LORD,
         And He shall give you the desires of your heart. 
         
 ⁵ Commit your way to the LORD,
         Trust also in Him, 
         And He shall bring it to pass.
 ⁶ He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light,
         And your justice as the noonday. 
         
 ⁷ Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for Him;
         Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way, 
         Because of the man who brings wicked schemes to pass.
 ⁸ Cease from anger, and forsake wrath;
         Do not fret—it only causes harm. 
         
 ⁹ For evildoers shall be cut off;
         But those who wait on the LORD, 
         They shall inherit the earth.
 ¹⁰ For yet a little while and the wicked shall be no more;
         Indeed, you will look carefully for his place, 
         But it shall be no more.
 ¹¹ But the meek shall inherit the earth,
         And shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace. 
         
 ¹² The wicked plots against the just,
         And gnashes at him with his teeth.
 ¹³ The Lord laughs at him,
         For He sees that his day is coming.
 ¹⁴ The wicked have drawn the sword
         And have bent their bow, 
         To cast down the poor and needy, 
         To slay those who are of upright conduct.
 ¹⁵ Their sword shall enter their own heart,
         And their bows shall be broken. 
         
 ¹⁶ A little that a righteous man has
         Is better than the riches of many wicked.
 ¹⁷ For the arms of the wicked shall be broken,
         But the LORD upholds the righteous. 
         
 ¹⁸ The LORD knows the days of the upright,
         And their inheritance shall be forever.
 ¹⁹ They shall not be ashamed in the evil time,
         And in the days of famine they shall be satisfied.
 ²⁰ But the wicked shall perish;
         And the enemies of the LORD, 
         Like the splendor of the meadows, shall vanish. 
         Into smoke they shall vanish away. 
         
 ²¹ The wicked borrows and does not repay,
         But the righteous shows mercy and gives.
 ²² For those blessed by Him shall inherit the earth,
         But those cursed by Him shall be cut off. 
         
 ²³ The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD,
         And He delights in his way.
 ²⁴ Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down;
         For the LORD upholds him with His hand. 
         
 ²⁵ I have been young, and now am old;
         Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken, 
         Nor his descendants begging bread.
 ²⁶ He is ever merciful, and lends;
         And his descendants are blessed. 
         
 ²⁷ Depart from evil, and do good;
         And dwell forevermore.
 ²⁸ For the LORD loves justice,
         And does not forsake His saints; 
         They are preserved forever, 
         But the descendants of the wicked shall be cut off.
 ²⁹ The righteous shall inherit the land,
         And dwell in it forever. 
         
 ³⁰ The mouth of the righteous speaks wisdom,
         And his tongue talks of justice.
 ³¹ The law of his God is in his heart;
         None of his steps shall slide. 
         
 ³² The wicked watches the righteous,
         And seeks to slay him.
 ³³ The LORD will not leave him in his hand,
         Nor condemn him when he is judged. 
         
 ³⁴ Wait on the LORD,
         And keep His way, 
         And He shall exalt you to inherit the land; 
         When the wicked are cut off, you shall see it.
 ³⁵ I have seen the wicked in great power,
         And spreading himself like a native green tree.
 ³⁶ Yet he passed away,^[a] and behold, he was no more;
         Indeed I sought him, but he could not be found. 
         
 ³⁷ Mark the blameless man, and observe the upright;
         For the future of that man is peace.
 ³⁸ But the transgressors shall be destroyed together;
         The future of the wicked shall be cut off. 
         
 ³⁹ But the salvation of the righteous is from the LORD;
         He is their strength in the time of trouble.
 ⁴⁰ And the LORD shall help them and deliver them;
         He shall deliver them from the wicked, 
         And save them, 
         Because they trust in Him.

QUESTION #2:

How do your think our expectations differ at Christmas?

Rob:  I am not sure that our expectations at Christmas are that different.  We both seem to enjoy spending our time with our family at Christmas.  I just believe Christmas has become too commercialized and that the true meaning of Christmas has been kicked to the curb.

He's SOOOO right and I TOTALLY agree!  Society has worked (and is still working) so hard to squeeze every single drop of Christ out of Christmas.  Gracious, The ACLU practically works around the clock to see to it that no one is "bothered" or "offended" with Christ at all.   I know that the God that Rob and I serve promises this:

Philippians 2:10-12 (New King James Version)

¹⁰ that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth, ¹¹ and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. ¹² Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling;

QUESTION #3:

Share your thoughts about exchanging gifts.

I am more interested in seeing the expressions of the children when they receive gifts.  I, like most people, enjoy receiving gifts, but as I have grown older I am more interested in giving others gifts.

 I know that we do not have children yet, but I cannot tell you what it does to me to see my husband with our nieces and nephews (from both his side of the family and my side of the family). He will be a wonderful father.

QUESTION #4:

Some years you're just not into Christmas. Explain why.

I can remember a few years as a child when my mother was having a rough time financially.  I could see the disappointment in her face because she could not afford much.  This will be the sixth Christmas since she passed away.  I do not own anything materialistic of greater value than the my years growing up with her and my grandma.  My fondest memories of Christmas are the times spent with my grandmother at Central Assembly of God.  I remember singing Christmas carols and the pastor handing out bags of fruit as we left the church.

It breaks my heart thinking of some of the things that my husband had to endure as a child.  But God is gracious and He is merciful.  He promises us:

Jeremiah 29:11-14 (New King James Version)

¹¹ For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. ¹² Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. ¹⁴ I will be found by you, says the LORD, and I will bring you back from your captivity; I will gather you from all the nations and from all the places where I have driven you, says the LORD, and I will bring you to the place from which I cause you to be carried away captive.

QUESTION #5:

How do you focus on the deeper meaning of Christ's birth at Christmas?

It is not very difficult for me to focus on the deeper meaning of Christ’s birth because my grandmother always explained the true meaning of Christmas to me and my younger sister.

Of the multitude of things that my husband and I share in common, the one thing that I am more thankful for and grateful for above all else is that we share the same saving knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ and we are both have assurance of our eternal salvation in Him.  This Christmas, as we celebrate in a world that seems so far away from the Lord, I pray that the Lord would enable us to focus on the real meaning, the birth of the Savior of the world, Jesus Christ.  From our home here in the Deep South, we both wish you a very Merry Christmas and pray that you will find the true meaning of Christmas in this passage from Luke:

Luke 2 (New King James Version)

Luke 2

Christ Born of Mary

 ¹ And it came to pass in those days that a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be registered. ² This census first took place while Quirinius was governing Syria. ³ So all went to be registered, everyone to his own city.
⁴ Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and lineage of David, ⁵ to be registered with Mary, his betrothed wife,^[a] who was with child. ⁶ So it was, that while they were there, the days were completed for her to be delivered. ⁷ And she brought forth her firstborn Son, and wrapped Him in swaddling cloths, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

Glory in the Highest

   
⁸ Now there were in the same country shepherds living out in the fields, keeping watch over their flock by night. ⁹ And behold,^[b] an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were greatly afraid. ¹⁰ Then the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people. ¹¹ For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. ¹² And this will be the sign to you: You will find a Babe wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger.” 
¹³ And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying: 
       ¹⁴ “ Glory to God in the highest, 
      And on earth peace, goodwill toward men!”<sup>[c]

15</sup> So it was, when the angels had gone away from them into heaven, that the shepherds said to one another, “Let us now go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has come to pass, which the Lord has made known to us.” ¹⁶ And they came with haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the Babe lying in a manger. ¹⁷ Now when they had seen Him, they made widely^[d] known the saying which was told them concerning this Child. ¹⁸ And all those who heard it marveled at those things which were told them by the shepherds. ¹⁹ But Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart. ²⁰ Then the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things that they had heard and seen, as it was told them.

 

For more Marriage Monday articles, please stop by Chrysalis and check them out!

 

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It's a big day tomorrow!

Just wanted to drop a quick note about tomorrow...please stay tuned for a Christmas themed installment of "Marriage Monday".  We'll be meeting over at E-Mom's blog, Chrysalis to post our articles.  Here are the details below....I hope that you can join us there!

Dear Blogging Sister,

 

Please join us for Marriage Monday this coming Monday (Nov. 30, 2009). This time, we'll be covering the general subject of Men & Christmas. By majority vote, this month's group topic is "He Speaks: A Revealing Interview With My Husband."

Help your Husband Express His Feelings

This month our challenge is to get help your man express his honest feelings about Christmas. I suggest you come up with three to five questions. I've emailed mine to e-Dad,because I know he likes to write his answers down, rather than be questioned verbally. You can try that, or do whatever works best for the two of you.

Here are my interview questions. (You can use these if you want.)

1. Describe your ideal Christmas.
2. How do your think our expectations differ at Christmas?
3. Share your thoughts about exchanging gifts.
4. Some years you're just not into Christmas. Explain why.
5. How do you focus on the deeper meaning of Christ's birth at Christmas?

Let's make it our goal to create some wonderful memories for our husbands this year!I'm excited to find out what pleases e-Dad, and also what troubles him about the holidays. I hope you'll take some time to do the same for your own sweet man.

Bring a Friend

Feel free to copy any part of this announcement and post it on your blog. As always, the more participants we have, the better.

 

See you at Chrysalis on Monday!

 

Blessings,

 

e-Mom :~D

http://chrysaliscom.blogspot.com

Back from hiatus!

Dear readers....I'm FINALLY back!   I have been on an "off again on again hiatus" of sorts for a couple of reasons.  The first is that my precious Father-in-law has been very ill and we've spent some time there.  I will treasure the times that we have been able to spend with him, though so far, they have been few. We are praying that the doctors will be used by the Lord to give us even more precious time with him.   You can read older posts  right here on this blog that detail my husband's glorious reunion with his Dad that took place last year after being apart for about 36 years.   God is SOOOOO good!  Forgiveness and reconciliation are precious and God gets all the glory for this in their relationship!  Please keep our precious Dad Bartlett in your prayers.  He is in the hospital at Duke University right now.  He has the best of care and we're praying that the doctors can make him strong enough to go home soon.  

Also during my hiatus, I had the great pleasure of taking my Mom on her first cruise!   We had SO much fun together and I know that this will not be the last one!  It's really funny...for years she was never wild about the idea of even thinking about getting on a ship.  Now she has been bitten by the cruise bug!  She can't wait for the next one!  If you have the chance to do something fun with your Mom that you've always wanted to do, but never have, DO IT!  You will not regret a minute of it!

Well, my dear friends, I'll wrap this post up with a little reminder.  Tomorrow is Marriage Monday at my dear friend E-Mom's blog Chrysalis.  Here is the info below and I hope that you will join us!

Call for Submissions
Written by e-Mom. Follow me on Twitter. Subscribe in a Reader

Please join us for Marriage Monday on Nov. 2, 2009. 
By majority vote this month's topic is, "A Love Letter to My Husband."

Every marriage begins on a high note. We're full of love, and we trust that the days ahead will be full of joy and fulfillment. Early in your relationship, no doubt you received (and sent) a love note or two from your sweetie. When was the last time you scribed a few words of appreciation to your man? Let's recapture some of those romantic good feelings this month.

Our challenge is to write prose, a poem, or even a song that expresses our love and gratitude for the man God gave to us as our life partner. Celebrate your husband in words, and let us share in your excitement! I guarantee you'llhave some fun in the process.

Please Bring a Friend

Feel free to copy any part of this announcement and post it on your blog. As always, the more participants we have, the better.

For Newcomers

Our community of Marriage Monday bloggers is a diverse group of joyful, Godly women. We are young, old, seasoned, and newlywed. For the past two years, we've been meeting at Chrysalis the first Monday of every month. Please join us! You definitely don't want to miss out. You'll meet some amazing women, and gain a little of wisdom along the way.

Your entry doesn't need to be fancy, clever, or very long.Just speak from your heart. Once you've posted, come back here and add your permalink to Mister Linky. Then, take a few minutes to visit a few of the other Marriage Monday contributors.

Girl Talk--A Marriage Monday Article

I am SO glad to be able to be a part of Marriage Monday today!  And thanks to our gracious hostess, E-Mom at Chrysalis, for having all of us over today!  The topic this week is "Girl Talk", as it specifically relates to mother and daughter relationships.  Our questions that have been posed are:

• What are you teaching your daughter about love and marriage?
• What was your mother’s best marriage advice to you?
• What valuable truths have been passed on by your mother-in-law?
• Where can daughters go for counsel when Mom is unavailable?

Since I do not have any children (yet), then that leaves me out of questions one and four.  So, I'm going to address the second and third questions.  And with that said, on with the first question!

• What was your mother’s best marriage advice to you?

I think that my mother definitely led by example with regard to this question.  Even though she has verbally taught me more than I could ever write in this post, my Mom definitely set the example for me, the Titus 2 way.

³Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. ⁴Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, ⁵to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

  The thing that stands out the most in her teaching would be "in sickness and in health".  You see, my Dad has been disabled most of my life (since I was about ten years old).  My Mom had two small children and had a husband that required many back surgeries, which usually meant he was in another state, lying in a hospital, while she was back at home trying to work and take care of us.  This went on for many, many years to come and is even true today.  Mom has been self sacrificing for as long as I can remember.  When others would have walked away at the slightest chance of their husband being sick and unable to work, Mom stuck it out.  And, I can happily say that as of this month, they will have been married 41 years!  

Where does this example come into play for me you ask?  Well, I'll give you a little background first.  My husband, Rob, was diagnosed at the age of twelve in 1979 with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis (JRA).  As a matter of fact, at the time, the physicians were adamant that Rob would never walk and would never lead a "normal" life.  WRONG!  Thanks to his tenacious grandmother, who refused to accept anything less than "health" for Rob, he did lead a "normal" life.  And he walked.  And he went to school.  And he even went into the Army, at which point he even ran every day!  This was WAY more than the doctors ever said that he would accomplish!  

Well, fast forward years later to our marriage, which happily began on November 17, 2006.  Less than two years into our marriage, we were faced with a hip replacement for Rob, which at the time, was extremely devastating, but good news, WE MADE IT THROUGH!  I could not have done it without the strength that I gained from all that I had learned throughout the years by watching my Mom.  Again, it was one of those times when by the "world's standards", most would have given up and left.  Nope. Not me.  I took my vows extremely seriously since they are a holy covenant...they are not just words on a piece of paper that I recited in front of a bunch of people just for my health.  They are a HOLY COVENANT.  Since the world doesn't seem to know what this word means, I could actually stop here and write and entirely new article about "covenant" and what that really means, but that is for another day (check out Kay Arthur's precept study on "covenant").  Moving on, as I said, we made it through.  Now, as of last Friday, we have been told that Rob's left hip now needs to be replaced in the next few months.  Again, somewhat devastating, but a little easier to swallow this time, since we're "old pros".  And, again, here is where I have drawn SO much strength from everything that I have learned from my Mom.  Furthermore, I hope that I am able to pass that on to our future children.  It's truly a heritage folks.  Marriages are already on the "endangered list", so passing on a rich heritage that is grounded in our faith in the Lord Jesus Christ  to our children (when the time comes), is an incredible accomplishment.  Altough, even ahead of marriage, passing on the biblical teaching and child rearing and pointing these little "lumps of clay" to the Potter, is the MOST important.  I pray for my unborn children all the time and that they would not only have an example in Rob and I of what it means to have a relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ, but that they WOULD come to a saving knowledge and relationship of their own with Jesus.  

Here is the point where I'm praying that anyone reading this (who is going through a tough time in their marriage, regardless if it's health related or otherwise) would seek out what the word of God has to say about marriage and divorce.  God WANTS us to honor our covenant...and that's what I signed up for, did you?

And before I wind this up, I would like to say something about question #3, which was:

• What valuable truths have been passed on by your mother-in-law?

When Rob and I met, he only knew "of" his father, since they had, at the time, be separated for the last 35+ years.  We didn't know if his dad was alive or not, much less if he was married.  (LONG story, but I'm working on future posts, and probably a book about this).  Anyway, last October, Rob came to grips with the prompting that the Lord had been putting on him about trying to find his dad.  His dad's birthday was approaching (we did have that information), so with a little help from the internet and with a very few clues that we had about his dad....I located him on the internet!  Long story short, Rob contacted him (on his birthday!) and soon after, there was an INCREDIBLE reunion of hearts that took place, both physically, mentally and spiritually.  And even better, his dad is a believer!  And better still, his dad had remarried and SHE is a believer!  You have NO IDEA what this meant to Rob and to me.  So, I tell you this to say that again, I've got another Titus 2 influence in my life that I dearly treasure.  My new found Mother (and Father) in Law have been the most amazing people in my life and Rob's life.  We love them SO much.  Unfortunately, they live 14 hours away from us, so we don't get to be with them physically as much as what we would like.  But, praise God for email and free nationwide cell phone calling!  I know that many people have many jokes about their mother in law...but I have NONE.  I love mine dearly and thank the Lord for her each day.  She is so similar to my mom in many ways, but especially in that she has dealt with many of the same health issues with Dad as what my Mom has been through in her marriage.  Again, I could write for days here (I'll let you know when I get that book written!).  But, suffice it to say that if you don't have a good relationship with your mother in law, I would highly encourage you to mend that relationship.  This life is way too short!  I can't make up the lost time that we've missed with Rob's parents, but I can make the most of the time going forward...and what a joy it has been so far!

WHEW....did you get all of that?  Sorry for the long post, but this was a "loaded" topic for me!  If you are reading this, I want you to know that I am SO glad that you decided to check out Marriage Monday!  We would love to have you join us for each of these special times.  Please check out the information at E-Mom's blog at Chrysalis if you would like more information about Marriage Monday or to see a list of those who participate.  

Blessings to you!

ps....Please stop by my blog tomorrow for another installment of "Bee My Guest"!  There will be a great (and VERY informative) post by a guest author AND a really great giveaway too!  You don't want to miss out!  Hope to see you tomorrow!

Marriage Monday...around the corner!

Want this button?

This is just a little reminder...you don't want to miss out on Marriage Monday over at my dear friend, E-Mom's blog.  We would also love for you to contribute, or even just be a reader.  In whatever way you choose, we would love for you to participate!  Here are all of the details...hope to see you there!

Call for Submissions
Dear Sister,

 

It's almost time to gather as a community of married Christian women once again. You're invited to join us for Marriage Monday on August 31, 2009.

Our Topic is "Girl Talk"

I'm delighted to announce that I will be your hostess at Chrysalis this coming Monday. Our topic is
"Girl Talk: Mothers & Daughters Talk About Love." To avoid vacation conflicts, please note that we’re meeting the week before Labor Day.

Power up your laptop and think about about mother-daughter relationships. If don't know where to begin, perhaps you can expand on one or more of the following ideas in your entry:

• What are you teaching your daughter about love and marriage?
• What was your mother’s best marriage advice to you?
• What valuable truths have been passed on by your mother-in-law?
• Where can daughters go for counsel when Mom is unavailable?

 

BTW, if you have all boys, don't feel left out. I'll have some instructions for you on Monday.

 

If you've never linked an entry before, don't worry. More instructions about the Marriage Monday meme will be posted on Monday.

 

Invite Your Sweet Bloggy Buddies

Feel free to copy any part of this announcement and post it on your blog. As always, the more participants we have, the better!

Have a blessed weekend,

 

e-Mom @ Chrysalis

http://chrysaliscom.blogspot.com

C h r y s a l i s ---A Marriage Monday Reminder

You may have noticed Mary Poppins doing a little fall housecleaning on this blog. I've hired Miss Poppins to keep our list of Marriage Monday community members fresh and current. In order to remain on the Marriage Monday blogroll, she's requested that you keep our yellow MM button posted in your sidebar. Mary mentioned that she'll be checking sidebars in the next two weeks. She'll assume that you no longer want your name included on the blogroll if she doesn't spot that yellow button somewhere on your sidebar.

via chrysaliscom.blogspot.com

Want this button?

This is just a reminder that you are personally invited to Marriage Monday on August 31st. You do not have to submit an article (although we would love to hear from as many as possible), but please make it around to the different participating blogs. There are some fabulous insights from many different married Christian women from all stages and ages in their marriages. We are so thankful to E-Mom to be our lovely Hostess with the Mostest!

We hope to see you there!

Marriage Monday....coming again to a blog near YOU!

Just a little early reminder here that I'm posting from E-Mom's blog at     C H R Y S A L I S about a great subject, "Girl Talk".  Read on for futher explanation from E-Mom, since all of the "handywork" in the post below is thanks to E-Mom! This is just a little advertisement for the upcoming installment of Marriage Monday and how our encouraging meme works.  If you have any questions, please either reply back to my post here or you can also ask E-Mom over at  C H R Y S A L I S.  We LOVE new ideas and fresh perspectives on our Marriage Monday topics!  Hope to see you there!

 

**Excerpt below  from blog post submitted by E-Mom at C H R Y S A L I S .  This is especially important , sinc ethe date will actuall fall again within this month on August 31st, due to the Labor Day holiday to follow.   

Girl Talk" is Next Month's Topic

Please mark your calendar for August 31, 2009 for our next topic, “Girl Talk: Mothers & Daughters Talk About Love.” To avoid vacation conflicts, we’ll be meeting the week before Labor Day.

In your next post, you can expand on one or more of
these ideas:

• What are you teaching your daughter about love
and marriage?
• What was your mother’s best marriage advice to you?
• What valuable truths have been passed on by your mother-in-law?
• Where can daughters go for counsel when Mom is unavailable?

 

Marriage Monday Button

 

Want this button?

You probably agree that there’s an unlimited number of savvy bloggers who would love to join us for Marriage Mondays. You can help get the word out by posting the yellow button somewhere in your sidebar. (Just copy and paste the code above.) If you do, please consider yourself part of the Marriage Monday community. Welcome!

 

Free Link Juice

When you’ve posted the button, please let me know by email at marriagemonday [at] gmail [dot] com. I'll add your link to the Marriage Monday blogroll—a little boost of “link juice” to increase your google page rank. In your email please include your name, email address, your blog’s name, and your blog’s URL. Thanks!


A Note to Marriage Monday Regulars

In order to remain on the Marriage Monday blogroll, I ask that you keep the yellow button posted in your sidebar. Mary Poppins does periodic housecleaning around here to keep our list of Marriage Monday community members fresh and current.


Related

1. "I Wish I Knew Why My Husband..." by Amanda & Curtis
at Beth Moore's LPM Blog

2. "Secrets of 50-Year Marriages" by Mary Kassian

Posted by e-Mom at 1:50 PM

 

 

The Peace of a Praying Husband--A Marriage Monday Article

When I heard a while back from E-Mom at Chrysalis that the topic for Marriage Monday was going to be open, I thought to myself, "that should be pretty easy", and I shoved it into the proper folder  in the filing cabinet of my brain.  Since I have so many things that I would like to write about but haven't yet, I knew that I would never be lacking on writing material for the post today. 

On June 30th, my doctor told me that I would need to have a laparascopy (surgery using a laparascope, instead of a regular incision) for the severe problems that I was having with what she believed to be endometriosis.   Subsequently, the surgery was scheduled and the big day was this past Friday.  Up until Friday, I had only had very minor procedures in the past (for kidney stones) and never anything that required full "knock you out" anesthesia, much less anything that required burning things out of my abdomen.  I had managed to keep everyone around me relatively calm about the whole thing and I even think I had convinced myself that I was "calm" about the procedure as well.....UNTIL FRIDAY!  Unbeknownst to those around me, I was a BASKET CASE on the inside when I woke up at 5:00AM Friday morning.  Every possible (and grossly misguided) thought that I could possibly have entered my head in a simultaneous flood the minute my eyes opened and the "light switch" in my brain turned on. "What would my husband do without me?  What would happen to my family?  What if I was the million and one that became a vegetable after having some weird adverse reaction to anesthesia?  What would they bury me in?"

 I'M NOT KIDDING.....all of these thoughts ran through my mind and then some.  I was about to have someone chemically"turn off my lights" and then someone else was going to put a camera in my abdomen and then use another instrument to burn out what shouldn't be there.  What was I thinking?

Well, as I was lying on the "not so plush" gurney in the outpatient surgery holding area trying to calm myself down without anyone knowing that I was upset, I couldn't help but notice the look on Rob's face.  It wasn't a look that I had seen on him before.  He was very solemn and serious but overwhelmingly "nervous looking".  It was just a couple of minutes before they were about to come and take me back.  Those big brown eyes looked up at me with even bigger tears in them said, "let me pray for you before you go back".  Now, I know that Rob and I both have extremely regular habits of praying for each other, but it was something about "that" prayer.  The moment he uttered those shaky and tearful words, the most incredible peace just washed over my whole entire mind, body and soul.  I cannot even put it into adequate words.  Up until that point, I had not had any drugs, so I assure you, this was not a Versed (Midazolam) induced peace.  This was nothing more and nothing less than the Holy Spirit Himself.  It was not even measurable in time.  It was less than a nanosecond--and total peace. 

Please do not think for one minute that it was my husband, the human being, that was the "deliverer" of the peace.  IT WAS MY HUSBAND'S OBEDIENCE AND SENSITIVITY to the Holy Spirit that ALLOWED the Holy Spirit to do the work that He set out to do in bringing me peace before the surgery.  If Rob had not have been obedient, then I would most likely still have been very unsettled.  I would have probably also been hounded by the Enemy for days, weeks, months and maybe years afterward as to why my husband had not prayed for me.  "He's a Christian, right?  He's supposed to love you, right"?  Can't you just hear the taunts of the Enemy?  He would have loved nothing better than for Rob to have been disobedient to the Lord.  He would have relished in the disobedient believer's failure to pray.  I'm sure that he had a laundry list already made out of all of the torturous things that he wanted to taunt both Rob and I with for forever and a day.  BUT OUR GOD IS VICTORIOUS over the pitiful attempts of the Enemy! 

• "And WHATEVER things you ask in prayer, believing, you WILL RECEIVE." Matthew 21:22 
• "Watch therefore, and pray always that you may be counted worthy to escape all these things that will come to pass, and to stand before the Son of Man." Luke 21:36
• "Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do he will do also; and greater works than these he will do, because I go to my Father." John 14:12
• "Now this is the CONFIDENCE that we have IN HIM, that if we ask anything according to His will, HE HEARS US."  1 John 5:14

I could go on forever....the Lord's promises are true.  The Lord's promises are Holy and they are just.  They are our ever present help in time of need.  Thanks be to God for a praying husband.  Praise be to God for his obedience to the prompting of the Holy Spirit.  The Enemy is vanquished!

I pray that this will be a reminder to me and to those reading that we should be obedient to the prompting of the Holy Spirit.  If you don't have a personal relationship with Jesus but would like to know about one, just click here to see if you are ready. He is ready and waiting for you, are you ready for Him? 

Thank you SO MUCH for coming to check out Marriage Monday and thanks SO MUCH to E-Mom and Chrysalis for being our HOSTESS WITH THE MOSTEST!!!  We love you E-Mom!

PLEASE COME BACK TOMORROW TO A PAIR OF BARTLETTS!  Tomorrow will be the inaugural post of "Bee My Guest".  Tomorrow, I will be welcoming a guest author, my friend, Elizabeth "Beth" White and you will NOT be sorry for stopping by!  There will also be a great GIVEAWAY!!  If you want to be a part of "Bee My Guest", then please make sure and stop by each Tuesday in August for a VERY special treat and very special giveaways!  Just leave an encouraging comment for my guest authors on the comment page and you will be entered in the giveaway for that day!  I hope and pray that you will come "Bee My Guest!"  See you tomorrow!   

     

 

Traveling With My Husband (A Marriage Monday Article)

 

I would first like to thank Christine at Fruit In Season for hostessing this Summer's Marriage Mondays while E-Mom at C H R Y S A L I S i s taking a summer break.  Thank you Christine for your gracious hospitality!

I'll have to say that I was somewhat excited to see that this month was an "easy" topic for Marriage Monday!  It's been unbearably hot in our area of the country, which sometimes just drains my desire to do anything, much less write about marriage.  When it's so hot that your brain sweats, it's pretty bad.  But, the Lord not only saw fit for me to be off from work today (which is almost unheard of) but He also saw fit to send a much needed rain today.  It was not only a refreshing rain for our parched and withered ground, but a rain over my soul also (which, with so much work and the stress that accompanies my work, has felt just as parched as the ground outside).  So, when I read that the topic was "Traveling With My Husband", I think I got a little giddy.  I actually laughed out loud when I read the topic.  I knew IMMEDIATELY what I would write about!

First, you have to understand the difference between me and Rob.  If you know anything about "Emergenetics", I am tri-modal--Blue(analytical)/Green(structural)/Yellow(conceptual).  What that means in lay terms is that the way I think is split between three different modes of thinking, which means that I have a "committee" going on in my brain.  Rob, on the other hand,  is very green (structural).  This is strictly my opinion, since he hasn't taken the profile.  But, I have been through the profile myself and the accompanying seminar and trust me, he's "green".  SO, for us to take a trip, my tri-modal way of thinking is paired up with his "green" way of thinking.  Green has a list, will stick to the list, will not stray from the list and will not consider too much that the tri-modal brain sitting in the other seat has three different ways of looking at all of the scenarios that will most definitley crop up along the way.  (For those of you who have studied the temperaments, I am Sanguine Melancholy and Rob is Melancholy Phlegmatic). 

Now, with that out of the way, on with the trip.  Picture it.  Christmas. 2008.  Rob's parents live in North Carolina (near the coast).  We live 14 hours away in the DEEP SOUTH, by the Gulf of Mexico.  Rob was just reunited with his Dad in October of 2008 after 36 years of being apart (but that is another blog post).  So, in December, we made plans to go and spend the week of Christmas with his new found family.  It was going to be SUCH a joyous time.  There would be a wealth of memories made, good times, good food, lots of love....but there was one small problem.  It was a nine pound problem, to be exact.  Actually, it was more of an "issue" than a problem.  You see, we have a miniature dachshund named Buddy.  We adopted Buddy about 2 1/2 years ago when his owner (an elderly gentleman) passed away.  And, since the day we got Buddy, the most he has traveled has either been the ten minute drive to my mother's house or a drive to the vet.  That's it.  No extensive travel for Buddy.  No travel experience for Buddy.  YIKES....what were we thinking?  At any rate, the trip was planned and his parents were looking forward to Buddy coming to visit their dog "Izzy".  Really, how bad could it be?  Well...we found out how it WOULD be.  Did I mention that the trip was 14 hours....one way?  Did I mention that it was FREEZING cold outside and that dachshunds don't like to get their paws cold OR wet?  Did I mention that Buddy has potty problems when he is not going potty in his own territory?  I didn't  did I?  

I know that you're wondering how Rob and I fit into all of this.  Well, remember how I explained the differences in our thinking in the beginning of this post?  Well, Rob (green green green) has a destination, knows how long it "should" take to get there.  He has the "necessary" clothing and toiletries, nothing extra.  NOTHING EXTRA.  He has a couple of designated stops....and that's it.  He doesn't stray from the course.  His expecations are to be there in the alotted amount of time, no dilly-dallying.  Period.  Oh, and the dog...he'll be fine.  Quit worrying about it.  He'll be fine.  He'll have US in the car.  He'll be FINE. 

Then there's "The Wife", that's me.  Remember how I told you that my brain thinks in three very equal ways (blue/green/yellow)?  Well, I had it all worked out too.  I had all of the Wal-Marts saved into the GPS on my Blackberry (and his Blackberry, in case something happened to mine). I had all of the Dunkin Donuts locations saved too, because we would need coffee for sure since we were going to travel at night.  I had baby wipes, paper towels, snacks, drinks, iPod, protable DVD player, all necessary cords, and the kitchen sink in the car. I was prepared for ALL situations.  I also knew how long it should take to get there (I have "green" in me too, you know).  It's just that since I can see three out of the four ways that the brain thinks, I not only analyzed the trip, but I structured it and knew the entire concept of how the trip should pan out. 

Well, here we go.  It's 10:00 pm.  The car looks like the sleigh in the cartoon "How the Grinch Stole Christmas"...we even had the little dog, minus the antlers tied on his head.  We stopped at my parents' house on the way out since they are right off of the interstate.  My Mom, thank the good Lord, had a moment of clarity and decided that even though (in our hearts) we didn't want to "drug the dog", that it would be wise if we took some doggy sedative with us.  PRAISE GOD FOR MY MOM!  We got in the car and Buddy had a nervous breakdown the minute we pulled out of the driveway and got on the interstate going in the opposite direction of where he knows that "his house" should be.  "Green" decided that Buddy would be fine and that "in a few minutes", he'll settle down.  He has US, remember? 

TWO HOURS into the trip and Buddy is still having a nervous breakdown.  He's crying, he's howling, he's moaning, he's groaning.  FINALLY, I look at "Green" and beg to give Buddy some sedative.  BADDA BING BADDA BOOM....the dog's asleep.  But how long is it going to last....we're only two hours into the trip?  Well, I had only given him a half, so my blue/green/yellow brain had the rest of the sedative planned out based on the various stops we would need to make and based on the level of consciousness that Buddy should achieve at these stops.  "Green" is just ready to get there. 

So, after four hundred and fifty stops "TRYING" to get a drugged up groggy dog to "do his thing", we finally got there!  I will tell you that it was the LONGEST sixteen hours of my life (should have been fourteen, but we had to stop at a rest area somewhere in Georgia at 4:00am and take a nap).  But in all of that, it was not only the LONGEST trip that I have ever taken with Rob, but it was the BEST trip that I have ever taken with him.  He's my hero.  He's my protector.  He always has my best interest at heart (even though we got on each other's nerves a couple a few LOTS of times before the trip was over).  I still would not trade that trip for any amount of money in the world.  We laughed, we sang, we watched I watched movies, we took care of our little drunk puppy....and we did it TOGETHER.  We learned a lot too.  We learned so much that we stayed in a hotel on the way back once we were half way home...no more driving straight through.  The devil would have loved nothing better than us to have driven straight through on the way home...but praise be to God for the clarity that He gave to both of us to break it up coming home!

I love my husband.  He is a gift from the Lord.  I love traveling and I love traveling with family and friends.  But, I DEARLY LOVE traveling with my husband.  He's my favorite travel companion in the whole wide world.  My little tri-modal brain has about 843 trips planned out for us for the next 50 years.  And I want to go on EVERY SINGLE ONE of them, as long as my "green" Rob is by my side!

 

 

The Friendship of Christian Marriage

When I was thinking about what to write for this month's Marriage Monday Article at CHRYSALIS, I couldn't help but think about my favorite poem:

The Road Not Taken

by: Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the tother, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy ans wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -

I took the one less traveled by

And that has made all the difference.

From "You Come Too", 1916

There are SO many interpretations of this beautiful piece of poetry that they are far too many to count. But, for the purposes of today's article, I believe that there is definitely application to friendships in our lives, especially the friendship of the Christian marriage. As I look at the first reference of significance, Frost says "and sorry I could not travel both", I think about the road of "singleness" and the road of "marriage", neither of which were meant (biblically) to be traveled together. The Bible says that for a marriage to work, “for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” You cannot remain in a state of singleness in order to enter into this union. Marriage is a state of “oneness”, but not “singleness”. Isn’t it amazing how the word “oneness” actually means “together”, but “single”, just means “single”; “by itself/oneself”?

I fully believe that in order to successfully accomplish this feat of “oneness” as we “travel the road of marriage”, we must be the best of friends. This doesn’t mean that we skip around holding hands twenty four hours a day, but it does mean that we have a bond in our relationship that is held together by Philia (φιλία philia) love, which is the love in a true, solid state friendship. It includes some very important components; loyalty to family and friends, community and virtue. But this Philia (φιλία philia), while great by itself, cannot fully function in a marriage without the balance of the other “branches” of love, which are Agapē (αγάπη agápē), or “brotherly love”; Eros (love) (ερως érōs), or physical/sexual love; and Storge (στοργή storgē), or “affectionate love, as parents would feel for a child”. Getting back to the “road of singleness”, you can see that there are some of these loves that can be experienced by the single person, but not all of them. This is not to say that there aren’t some Christians who are called by the Lord to remain single. I know some people who have accepted this calling and are incredibly fulfilled by this calling. But, then there are others, like me, which are called to be married.

With the different “loves” that make up the marriage relationship, I believe that Philia (φιλία philia) is really the cornerstone. It’s almost impossible to build a marriage relationship without starting with friendship first. I have plenty of friends, but NONE like my Rob. I do have some incredibly close friends with which I can share just about anything. But deep down, there is no earthly friend that I have with which I can share all that I do with Rob. To me, this is one of the most beautiful components to marriage. Granted, there are times when we get on each others nerves. In fact, I’ll be honest and say that there may have been some of that this week (sleep deprivation and busy schedules do not foster warm and fuzzy feelings towards your mate). But, in everything, I still love Rob more every day than I did the day before…even if we are both driving each other bananas over something (and it’s usually something stupid and meaningless). It is this part of the marriage--the deep friendship, the brotherly love, the physical love and the affectionate love—that made me want to choose the “road less traveled”.

Some of you are probably asking “why would you think that marriage is the road less traveled”? Well…stop. Think about it. What day and age do we live in? We have officially built a society in which those who have remained married for over thirty years have become a group that is in the severe minority. So this…..this is why I chose the road less traveled. If Mr. Frost were still alive I would ask him to do a sequel to the poem….and prayerfully, we would find those that chose the road less traveled in marriage would still be traveling down that road, hand in hand, walking into the hand painted sunset, painted just for us by the Master. And what a Master….the last time I checked, He wrote the book on “The Road Not Taken”. He took that Road straight to Calvary and bled and died for me, for Rob and for anyone reading this post. He is the One who is waiting for us at the end of “The Road Not Taken”. Without God and God alone, for me, for Rob and our families, there would never have been a road.

Thank you Lord for my Husband, family and friends.  And thank You most for dying on Calvary to save my sinful heart.

Labels: Marriage Monday Articles

The Glory of Christian Marriage (A Marriage Monday Article)

First of all, thank you for stopping by today! It is indeed a very special day today. Thanks to E-Mom at C H R Y S A L I S, the first Monday of each month is "Marriage Monday", all hosted by different Christian women around the grand old blogosphere. So, with that said, we are all so happy that you took the time to come and see the postings for this month's "Marriage Monday" topic, The Glory of Christian Marriage". (Since this is my first time using Mr. Linky, if for ANY reason Mr. Linky doesn't work, please leave a comment with a link to your post. Otherwise, just use Mr. Linky!) As I was sitting here in the study, gazing out the window to the street below, trying to decide where I wanted to go with this article, I noticed a couple out walking together. While that sounds sweet...."awwww, a couple out walking together", it just so happens that to me, it's very sad. You see, I happen to know that couple from around our neighborhood. The sadness to me is that they (like so many) are living together, but are not married to each other. There is no possible way that they can know what Rob and I share as a married couple. With them, there is no real commitment, much less a covenant of marriage. The world would like us to think that this is what should really be acceptable in our society. But to me, it's sad. The dictionary defines the word "glory" as:

glo⋅ry   /ˈglɔri, ˈgloʊri/[glawr-ee, glohr-ee] noun, plural -ries, adjective, verb, -ried, -ry⋅ing, interjection –noun

1. very great praise, honor, or distinction bestowed by common consent; renown: to win glory on the field of battle. 2. something that is a source of honor, fame, or admiration; a distinguished ornament or an object of pride: a sonnet that is one of the glories of English poetry. 3. adoring praise or worshipful thanksgiving: Give glory to God. 4. resplendent beauty or magnificence: the glory of autumn. 5. a state of great splendor, magnificence, or prosperity. 6. a state of absolute happiness, gratification, contentment, etc.: She was in her glory when her horse won the Derby. 7. the splendor and bliss of heaven; heaven. 8. a ring, circle, or surrounding radiance of light represented about the head or the whole figure of a sacred person, as Christ or a saint; a halo, nimbus, or aureole. 9. anticorona. –verb (used without object) 10. to exult with triumph; rejoice proudly (usually fol. by in): Their father gloried in their success. 11. Obsolete. to boast. –interjection

12. Also, glory be. Glory be to God (used to express surprise, elation, wonder, etc.). —Idioms

13. glory days or years, the time of greatest achievement, popularity, success, or the like: the glory days of radio. 14. go to glory, to die. Also, go to one's glory. Origin: 1300–50; ME <>adverb

Synonyms: 1. fame, eminence, celebrity. 4. brilliance, refulgence, effulgence.

Antonyms: 1. disgrace, obloquy.

The "glory" of our marriage is found in the fact that, like the definition above, our relationship is "something that is a source of honor, fame or admiration; a distinguished ornament or object of pride". Further, like the definition, marriage (can be/should be) a "state of absolute happiness, gratification and contentment". Now, I know what you are thinking right now....we're not always happy, gratified and content with our spouses. But, compared to the couple who is living in an uncommitted and un-glorifying relationship, the Christian marriage relationship has been afforded opportunities that these other relationships will never see. They may "believe" that they know how their partner "feels" about them, but do they really and truly know? Since there has been no holy covenant, no vows and no public commitment, their relationship is reduced to nothing more than a "maybe". I don't know about you, but I relish in the fact that Rob and I are committed to each other...and only to each other. There was no mention of the "D" word when we said our vows. In fact, in our Sunday School class last Sunday, we began a new study called "I Promise", that was written by Gary Smalley. We were challenged to list the reasons that we "shouldn't" divorce. I will tell you that when I tried to list them, I got so teary eyed that I couldn't finish. I get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach just "thinking" about what it would be like without my husband...in fact, I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT! I love him too much and cannot even entertain the thought of anything but death separating us. I totally understand that there are many (including my husband) who have experienced the terrible pain of divorce in their time. It is a very sad and lonely state to be in. It's earth shattering to the one who is experiencing it. I pray that those who have had to suffer this horrible time in their lives would find grace and peace in a relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. I know that HE has been the one to heal the pain that my own husband had to experience in years past. And, God was good to both of us when he blessed both of us with each other. HE has been so merciful to Rob and I, even in light of the past mistakes that we have made. HE has been the one to bring GLORY to HIMSELF in the past circumstances that we have faced. This is the other part of the "glory" of the Christian marriage. God WILL bring glory to HIMSELF. We are living and breathing testimonies to this. Without the Lord, our marriage would have failed almost as quickly as we entered into it. The antonym to "glory" is "disgrace", and that is a place that I do not want to be in my relationship with Rob. I thank the Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ for the holy covenant that HE has given to us in marriage so that we can not only experience "glory" in our relationship, but that we can ultimately bring "glory" to our Father.

Labels: Marriage Monday Articles

Marriage Monday Is Coming!

Greetings to all!

This is the latest post on C h r y s a l i s advertising for our upcoming articles for "Marriage Monday"....which will be hosted right here on A Pair of Bartletts!  I hope that you will come back for a visit on Monday.  In addition to my article, there will be others from fellow Bloggy Sisters from around the "big ol' blogosphere". We hope to see you Monday!

from E-Mom----
Call for Submissions

Would you like to share your experiences in marriage with other Christian women? Our community of Marriage Monday bloggers is a diverse group of joyful, Godly women. We're young, old, seasoned, and newlywed. And we’d love to hear from you! You're invited to join us for Marriage Monday on March 2, 2009.


The Glory of Christian Marriage

Jennifer at A Pair of Bartletts will be our guest hostess this coming Monday. (Thanks my friend!) Our topic is, "The Glory of Christian Marriage."

Fire up your keyboard and tell us why you feel marriage is part of God’s marvelous design. What have you discovered that you want to shout from the rooftops? Or, tell us how you handled a conflict that turned out to be unexpected blessing in your relationship. Give us the real skinny about marriage as God envisions it.

Then, be sure to stop by Jennifer's blog and leave your permalink in Mister Linky. Afterward, take some time to sprinkle your comments around the Marriage Monday blogosphere.

Invite Your Bloggy Friends

Feel free to copy any part of this announcement and post it on your blog. The more participants we have, the better.

E-Mom


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Labels: Marriage Monday Articles

The Surprise of Christian Marriage (A Marriage Monday Article)

It didn't take me long to decide what "surprises" that I would write about when I read the topic for "Marriage Monday".  Since Rob and I married about two and a half years ago, I think I can safely say that there have been two suprises that have happened which I would most definitely consider to be "major" surprises.  I have written a little about each of them here and there on this blog, but I will revisit them for the sake of this article.  

The surprise of SURGERY:

The first "surprise" to us in a very new Christian marriage was finding out that Rob would need a hip replacement due to his arthritis.  In the months following our wedding in November of 2006, Rob's arthritis began to take a ver scary turn.  He was in constant pain--all the time--pain so intense that I could see him almost tear up at different moments when it was almost too excrutiating to make the simplest of movements.  In February of 2008 we were told that his right hip would most definitely need to be replaced, and if it were not, there would be no doubt that it would break.  The news of this was something that neither of us could have ever expected.  In fact, the element of surprise at the need for surgery was HUGE.  When Rob went to the doctor that day, all we were prepared for was that the physician would probably give him another injection, as he had experienced so many times before.  GOODNESS!!! Were we ever WRONG!  We went from zero to surgery in less than 60 seconds.  It was really hard to take....especially for Rob.  But, looking back now, it was the best surprise we could have had, considering that he woke up from surgery "pain free".  There is no doubt that we were both scared to death.  But now, we both know that it was worth every minute of surgery, recovery and rehab.  The Lord has even allowed other people to come into Rob's path who are within his age range (41) and are in need of a hip replacement.  He has been able to give so much encouragement and insight, which has been a blessing to others. 

The Surprise of FAMILY:

I would have to tell you that the greatest surprise in our marriage came this past October.  Rob had not see his father since he was about 5 years old (There are MANY gaps of information to fill in here, but I will save that for another time).  Rob had really tried to find his Dad over the years,  but technology in the past is not what it is now.  He had really sort of given up on the idea.  Flash forward to 2008....Rob really began to feel a burden to find his Dad, regardless of the final outcome.  After finding a few key pieces of information, I began to dig on the internet one night, in hopes that in some way, I could help Rob in finding his Dad.  With a few clicks of a mouse, and in less than about 30 minutes, I had found who I believed was Rob's real father!  As a wife and as a daughter, my flesh wanted Rob to pick up the phone that very minute and try to call.  There were several names on a list that I came up with, but I had narrowed it in a way that I knew that one of these had to be the right person.  But, it was Rob's struggle.  The Lord just said "give it to him and let him do it".  As wives, sometimes we just want to protect them and to try and make the final impact easier on them.  I just wanted to pick up the phone and try myself....to try and prevent a blow to Rob, if there was going to be one.  But again, the Lord just impressed me to "let HIM do it".  So, I did. I was actually out of town one weekend, which happened to be the weekend of his Dad's birthday (he did know the right day).  So, while I was gone, Rob picked up the phone, on his Dad's 61st birthday, and called him.  That was in October.....and the rest is history.  There has been a complete restoration of the relationship.  There is total forgiveness...and better yet, we have gained an INCREDIBLE family throughout the process.  It was also another miracle that when we found his Dad and Stepmother, we found them to be born again believers and followers of Christ.  God blessed us more than we could have ever done on our own.  This was the greatest surprise that we could have ever encountered in our marriage so far.  God has been SO good to us....to all of us.  Not only did Rob gain his Father back, but an incredible Stepmother, a sister, a brother...and all of their families as well.  And I gained a mother and father in law, which prior to this, I didn't have either.  I cannot express in words just how much they mean to both of us and how much we both love them.  This entire journey that we have been on in the search and in the reunion was bathed in prayer....before, during and after.  If you have ever doubted if God could move in your marriage....in any situation, I am here to tell you that HE CAN.  Rob was without his Father for 36 years.  Both of them had been praying over the years.  His Stepmother had been praying.  My Mom had been praying from the minute she found out the story of Rob's family.  And countless others prayed as well.  I am here to tell you that "the prayers of a righteous man availeth much".  If  you are ever at the point of giving up on prayer....DON'T.  You may be missing out on the greatest surprise blessing that the Lord could have ever bestowed on you....I promise.

***The Wife's Disclaimer: All Marriage Monday articles (or any posts regarding The Husband) posted by The Wife have been previewed and preapproved for posting by The Husband.

Labels: Marriage Monday Articles

The Humor In Marriage (A Marriage Monday Article)

When I read what the topic would be this month for Marriage Monday, I had to stop and chuckle to myself. The reason why is because I instantly thought to myself, "I am married to the funniest human being that I know but I have no way to even begin to describe that to others...especially before they begin to think that we are both crazy!" How would I ever do justice to my very sweet, but extremely funny husband in the paragraphs of the blog post topic? Well, I haven't met any challenge that I didn't face head on, so here it goes...

My marriage to some may appear well seasoned, as in "many years spent together". Rob and I are comfortable together. We both get on each other's nerves sometimes, but no more than any other married couple. We love each other dearly. Our hearts are knit tightly together. We fit together....we wear well, like a great pair of Isotoners. But, in all actuality, we have only been together since 2005, married in 2006 and are now in our 4th year together. But, to only be in our 4th year, we have experienced some extremely trying times for those who have only just begun a marriage together. These times were not exactly "humorous" times, but it has been humor that has had a vital part of taking the "sting" out of our circumstances.

You see, very early in our first year of marriage, Rob had a relapse with his arthritis, to the point that he was in constant pain. In 1979 he was diagnosed with juvenile rheumatoid arthritis, with which he suffered extensively for a very long time. He later went into a remission of sorts and was even able to go on to play football and then later join the Army. After being in the Army several years and then coming out, he experienced a relapse with the arthritis, which has really never left him since. In 2006, though, it seemed to come at him with a vengeance. It was then three months after our first anniversary that we were told that it was inevitable that Rob would have to undergo a total right hip replacement...and fast. His hip had been virtually destroyed by the arthritis to the point that he was in imminent danger of breakage if it was not done. As hard of a pill as this was to swallow at first, we knew that we had to face it head on. Being that we both like to joke with each other and laugh and cut up, I honestly had no idea how we were going to be able to find any humor or any laughs in what was about to come our way. There were so many nights of sheer torturous pain that Rob went through prior to surgery that I believe laughing was the furthest thing from my mind. It was only after surgery (and a very successful one at that) I was able to finally see the true (pain free) sheepishly sweet smile of my constantly mischievous husband again. His humor is what brings light to our marriage. Yes, there are times that I would like to ring his neck (not literally....it's just a southern phrase). But, I can assure you, before I have even been able to complete the thought of a good old fashioned "neck ringin'", Rob has usually done something so hysterically funny that I can't help but laugh at him. Our laughter makes us forget those tough times, hard days and the world in general. The Lord has truly blessed us with each other....when we have nothing else, we have God and we have each other. I think I can speak for Rob when I say that we don't have any regrets about the difficult circumstances that we have had to overcome in such a short time. What we do have, though, is a marriage filled with the Lord, mixed with lots of laughter and enough love to last many lifetimes over. God has been so gracious to us in the knitting together of our hearts. The threads that He so carefully chose to knit our hearts so tightly together with (Ephesians 5:31) are not only strong in their bond but are laced with humor, love and laughter (Psalm 126). They are also threads that can never be severed by anything but death (Ruth 1:16-17).

I thank my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ for my funny, goofy, sweet smiling husband. I can't make it a day on this earth without those special laughs that we share. Thank you Lord. I couldn't have searched the ends of the earth and found anyone better. As I have said many times before, aside from my Bible, Rob is my greatest earthly treasure.

***The Wife's Disclaimer: All Marriage Monday articles (or any posts regarding The Husband) posted by The Wife have been previewed and preapproved for posting by The Husband.

Labels: Marriage Monday Articles